M.I.A.

Sorry I am missing in action. Good Gravy, this is hard.
I am sorry I complained about all other semesters.
I am sorry I am complaining now.
I just signed my life away for the summer.

I have, quite possibly, had two of the most heart wrenching weeks of my life - reasons I cannot disclose here, but for those who know me IRL, well you know.

I found out last night that I was old. A girl in class told me of her desire to marry her boyfriend. And she is excited to see where her life is taking her. Then she ended with.... "but, I don't want to get old. And, I don't want to have kids. Once you have kids, it is over."

Um, chick, it is just the beginning.
I wanted to tell her what a blessing and a privilege it is to reproduce with someone you love so, so much. That the greatest gift that God gives us it the ability to be a mother. That while fat, stretch marks, crows feet, mouth wrinkles, tiredness, worry and stress are all worth those sweet smiles, the "I lub you, mommy" comments, the kisses.....

She will figure it out, one day, all on her own.

Then, I quoted one of my most favorite people and told her about "seasons." There are seasons in our lives that replace seasons. While some are not as enjoyable, they are necessary to move to the next level. When you are in a season that is not really agreeable to you, suck it up, make the best of it, and go on. It doesn't last forever.

Holy gravy, I just talked myself out of a pitty party.
Thanks, me.

Tough Day.

I chose to skip practicum today. It is the first day that I have missed teaching.
Emma's homework was not done, Tripper was refusing to dress OR brush his teeth. Kindergarten papers were due, High School admission papers were due, applications for honors classes were due and needed teacher approval signatures. I work Eli up around 6:10. At 7 a.m. he rolled outta bed.

I sat there, at 6:55 a.m., my normal "leave" time, and had chaos all around me.
I chose to call in sick, to help Emma with schoolwork, help Tripper brush his teeth, deliver signed applications and papers to the proper places.

I got it done.

Sometimes, the kids have to come first.

It went downhill from there.
You ever had those days where ya just want to go to bed, get back up and start all over?
Today is one of those days.

Do I Even Know What I Am Doing?

Almost fourteen years ago, I became a momma.

Yadda, yadda, Yadda.

I have three children. Three kids that I bathe, get dressed, make sure teeth are brushed, take to the dentist on a regular basis, take to the doctor. Three kids whose bottoms I have wiped. Three kids who have vomited on me. I feed these kids, listen to their tears, and whining, and listen to them complain.

For some reason, it irks me when people tell me what do with my kids.

Last week, Emma and I were at the IGA getting a few groceries. She wanted a drink that is .25. After I purchased my items, she placed her item on the belt.
The woman jerked it off and handed it to me.
So I said, "I am standing right here. I see what she is doing. She is paying for it herself."
The woman replied, "Humph."

So I thought, "What a %&*$#."

I could tell these stories all.day.long.

People are always offering unsolicited advice, advice that starts off like, "WELL, if he/she were mine, I would....." But guess what people. It is not your child. It is mine. They are mine. Mine. Mine. Mine!

Many years ago, Eli had a teacher that did not like us. She made the comment to me one day, "Well, I am afraid to tell you what he does. I don't know what he gets at home."

I promptly drove over to the school and showed her what he gets at home.
Just kidding.

Sometimes, I wish people would mind their own business.
Especially the chick at The IGA.

Interview with the kids.

I just stole this from this super hilarious blog... I am interested to see what my kids say.

I will do Eli on his own.



Emma is six. Tripp is four.



Here goes.





What is something mom always says to you?

Emma: "Go Brush Your Teeth"



What makes mom happy?

Emma: Cleaning your room.

Tripp: Brushing your teeth



What makes mom sad?

Emma: When your mess up the house and she has to clean it again.
Tripp: Spanking kids.



How does your mom make you laugh?

Emma: When you tell her a joke.
Tripp: Saying funny stuff like "head ball"



What was your mom like as a child?

Emma: a good little girl.
Tripp: being nice to her little brother uncle chris.



How old is your mom?

Emma: 34

Tripp: shruggs shoulders.... 15... 17... 14?



How tall is your mom?

Emma: 25 inches

Tripp: 52



What is her favorite thing to do?

Emma: playing with her kids

Tripp: cuddling her kids


What does your mom do when you're not around?

Emma: clean the house.
Tripp: come in and sit in time out.



If your mom is on TV for something, what will it be for?

Emma: you would talk about stuff and like say what the weather is.
Tripp: seeing your kids and talking to them.



What is your mom really good at?

Emma: type

Tripp: cuddling



What is your mom not very good at?

Emma: "whoa, that is a good one!" washing a dog.
Tripp: not cleaning rooms



What is your mom's favorite food?

Emma: I got to go with Salad.

Tripp: tootie.



What makes you proud of your mom?

Emma: when she is a good mom and she does her best.

Tripp: loving her.



If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?

Emma: Betty Boop

Tripp: George Lopez. no, boobidie boob.



What do you and your mom do together?

Emma: we go shopping together.
Tripp:Cuddle



How are you and your mom the same?

Emma: our eyes - they are both brown

Tripp: I dont know.



How are you and your mom different?

Emma: um, our hair

Tripp: I don't know.





How do you know your mom loves you?

Emma: help me with my homework.

Tripp: Cause God told me.



Where is your mom's favorite place to go?

Emma: Walmart
Tripp: Chuckie Cheese



What does your mom do for a job?

Emma: at the church.

Tripp: uh, she does everything so she can get alot of money.

Thankful.

The beginning of a new work week.
The beginning of a new semester.

I am thankful for:
1. God's faithfulness in answering prayers.
2. The ability to pray.
3. Grace and Mercy.
4. My husband and his dedication to our family.
5. My son Eli and his wit and charm.
6. My daughter Emma and her desire to do her best in everything.
7. My son Tripp and his toughness and his eyelashes.
8. My neice Mallie and her desire to color and make letters perfect.
9. The health of my children, my home, my ability to go to school.
10. Liquid Hormones and the pharmacists at Walgreens who provide me with said hormones.
11. Chocolate chip cookies and brownies that accompany liquid hormones when they fall a wee bit short of their goal.
12. Coffee from McDonalds that arrives by one messenger or another by 8:30 every morning.
13. My screaming five year old daughter. She is able to scream to that means her throat is not that sore.
14. My neice Mallie who just commented, "Her face is RED!"
15. Tripp's desire to stick his tongue out at his sister when she is screaming, and Emma's comment: "Everytime he makes me cry, he just feels good about it."

Oh, at the store the other day, Emma told me and my sister Melissa, "This store inflames me."

What a life.

Don't mess with my kids.

I recently had comments made to me that was inappropriate... they were made in reference to my children.

It is funny that in .2 seconds - I can go from trying-to-live-my-life-right church secretary back to a foul mouthed bar wench.

I need to repent.

I hate - HATE - the meanness of people. Over the course of the past couple of years, there has been one person in particular who enjoys taking shots at me- no, not me, at my children, really - for no reason. I know the reasoning is that she is trying to get me to have a reaction. I have tried to not comment, keep my mouth shut, not to stoop to her level.

This person has told me that I was ugly - to my face, no less. She has caused me stress. I have been embarrassed by her husband in public. She has mocked me and talked about me to others while I was in the same room. Only one other time have I ever lost my cool with her. That time also envolved my kids.

Well, yesterday, she got a reaction.

As with most mothers, the love we have for our children is so powerful, it will cause you to do things you never thought possible. Talk about love moving mountains. Well, a mother's love is indescribable.

Without giving specifics, I will just say this: you can do what you want to me, and attack Dave, but don't mess with my kids.

Innocence.

I would like to keep my kids pure from the bad things in the world, but no matter how much I want it, it is just not gonna happen.

Let's talk about the subject of death, for instance.

Just a couple of weeks ago, on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, we were riding thru our small little town. It just so happens that that there was a dead dog in the road over by the DGM (Dollar General Market). So Emma says to me, TWICE, "Hey Mom, what is that in the road?" I avoided her questions, in fact, I pretended she didn't even speak. The third time she asks, as we are leaving the DGM, "HEY MOM, WHAT IS THAT THING IN THE ROAD?" I quietly answer, "a dog." She says to me, "well, is he taking a nap? But why would he go to sleep in the road?" I just said, quietly again, "no, he's not asleep" hoping to leave it at that. Did that work? No. She said in a very strained voice, "is he dead?" And so I answered with a quiet "yes."

This conversation went on and on. Tripp became involved. Why would people run over animals? Why did the dog have to die? Did he go to heaven? What if Harley-Charley died? We would miss him so much. Does everyone remember the kitten that Mommy ran over (last YEAR) and his head was squished and his tongue was hanging out?

I get sad that my children are having to learn that bad things happen in the world. I would like them to keep up the idea of sunshine, flowers and rainbows. But it is not going to happen. Just recently, we also discussed divorce. Why do people get divorced? What does that mean? Why wouldn't mommies and daddies stay married? Wouldn't their kids be sad? Are you and Daddy going to get divorced?

Ugh.

Just a couple of days ago, following a family dinner with a family who really doesn't talk much, (mine, by the way) Emma and Tripp noticed that everyone went outside to smoke after dinner. They know the basics about smoking being bad for you, turning your lungs black, and that type of thing. But they never realised that one of their aunt's smoked. As we were pulling away from the party, Tripp asks, "Did you tell them that their lungs will turn black and that they will die? Roll the window down and tell them." Um, no Tripp, I didn't tell them. They know."


So, I guess it is just sad when the kids start to know things aren't always peachy. Eli, of course, knows things. I have already been thru things with him. It has just been so long ago that I forgot how bad it felt when he started becoming knowlegeable about worldly things.

It makes me want to lock them up in the house.




**** DISCLAIMER - as a former smoker, I try to keep my mouth shut to smokers. I would love to smoke, but the fact is, I am an addict. I am addicted to cigarettes. So I don't smoke at all. I am just sad when people do smoke, cause it is the hardest thing in the world to quit.

Four years ago today.

Four years ago today, I was 36 weeks pregnant.

Four years ago today, I had a 20 month old daughter. And a nine year old son.

Four years ago today, I woke up in a hotel room in Nashville, TN after visiting my husband. He had been gone for about a week. He was heading up the building of the Cheesecake Factory in Nashville.

Four years ago today, I wore denim overalls from Motherhood and a white tshirt. And flip flops.

Four years ago today, I had plans to go buy baby stuff at Babies R Us... then, go home with the two kids and finish getting my baby stuff ready. Little did I know that when I woke up and went to shower that morning, my mucus plug would dribble, or drop out, or whatever it does. It stopped the shopping plans.

Four years ago today, I ate lunch at a hamburger joint in Green Hills at the mall, and I saw on TV that the guy who was "Deep Throat" in Watergate died. I found much enjoyment of running around all day saying "Deep Throat." In my "deep throat" voice. With my 50 inch belly jiggling.

Four years ago today, my mother spent the night with me. It was one of the best times in my life. It was the first time in many years that she was "my momma." I had no idea that it would never happen again.

Four years ago today, I spent the afternoon doing laundry, and getting stuff ready because I started having contractions. Really bad contractions. I realized when I saw Dave the day before that he was so tired. so. so. tired. So I didn't tell him. And when I drove myself to the hospital that night, all by myself, at about 10 p.m., I had devised my plan of how to call Dave - just at the right moment - because I knew that I would have a one and one half hour time slot for him to leave Nashville and make it to the hospital justintime to see the baby arrive.

Four years ago tonight, Dr. Terry stopped my labor. I was PISSED. But, he said if I went into labor again, he would let me deliver. So I spent the night in the hospital and never called my husband to tell him where I was. Why give him extra worry? Well, that backfired on me, four years ago tomorrow. He was PISSED.

Four years ago today, I would have never dreamed that I would be getting ready to celebrate my last babies' birthday, in just two days. And that my daughter would be 5 1/2 and my firstborn son would be 13, so quickly. And that I would be loving my kids so much.

Once Upon a Time....

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Melody. She was the third child out of four. She had a brother named Steve, who was seven years older than her. Then, she had a sister named Melissa who was 5 years older. And last, but certainly not least, she had a wee baby brother named Chris. When Chris was born, Melody was almost 5 years old.

Melody's mommy was a crazy lady. She was not a happy stay-at-home mommy. See, her mommy never took advantage of all of the luxuries of the world, such as learning to drive. So, her mommy was stuck day.after.day with 4 children in her home and no way out. Year after year, her mommy got more and more angry and more and more fed up with being a wife and a mother.

One summer, when Steve was about 13, Melissa was 11, Melody was 6 and Baby Chris was 1, the mommy started locking them outside. After breakfast, the three bigger kids were hurried outside to play. And the mommy locked the door. The children were only allowed back in around lunchtime. And, then again, after bologna and crackers and a swig of Kool-aid, the kids were placed outside again. This time, the excuse was naptime for Baby Chris. What the mommy didn't know was that there were windows in the house... the kids could see in. And do you know what they saw? Why, the mommy was eating her own lunch of Chicken Noodle Soup and crackers and watching Guiding Light! She just really wanted to be alone!

Later on, the kids snuck in the back door. They had taken tomatoes out of the garden and cut them open, pouring the guts out of them. Then, the oldest brother Steve took mayonnaise and filled the gutless tomato full - just for the mommy. Why, it was a peace offering! Surely, she would love this and welcome them back into her home!

No. It didn't work. The kids spent all day... everyday.. locked outside. It was a long hot summer.

Years later, Melody was a mommy herself. She loved her kids and loved being their mommy.
She took advantage of all the things life had to offer, she drove, she flew on planes and she did lots of neat adult things.

Yet one day, she was cleaning house. And her kids were whining. So she pushed them out the door while she mopped.

Look what she saw.

She was glad they didn't give her mayo filled tomatoes.

Edited to Add: During this process, their father was outside mowing. So was big brother Eli. And it only took about 10 minutes. They just kept running thru... tracking dirt in and out. I just wanted a clean floor. And, for what it's worth.. it didn't last. :)

Two Years ago.

This is Emma and Tripp 2 years ago. That would make Tripp 21 months old and Emma 3 1/2 years old. Where has the time went?



I L.O.V.E. looking at old pictures but I hate it at the same time.

Tripp has always liked frogs. See that frog in Emma's hand? His name is Tad. He is the LeapFrog. That frog is still Tripp's baby. He is carried around sometimes, and sometimes he is forgotten - yet, he always seems to resurface. He reminds me of the Velveteen Rabbit. I know that some day Tad is going to come to life and hop off and go live by the creek.

I just hope he doesn't get squished crossing the road.

Bad toys for sweet little kids.

I just read this blog that I absolutely love - and I agree!

Suburban Turmoil: The Barbie Brouhaha

This is exactly what is wrong with the world.. look at what toys are being offered to kids nowadays. This teaches our children what the "norm" is.

Emma and Tripp are going back to playing with rocks and sticks and making mud pies.

I feel like saying no more Barbies (probably not gonna happen)... and I will continue boycotting Bratz.

Quirks.

Everyone has quirks. I guess that mine are more apparent to my children than what I thought. Recently, Eli told me I had OCD.

Here's the story.

I asked him to get me a bottle of water out of the van. He went and got it, and somewhere along the way, he peeled my paper off. Now, understand that I like my water. I feel as though it should always be Aquafina. But, I also like the paper that encases the middle section of my bottle of water. It is comfort to my hands.

So, he hands me my water. Right away, this particuar bottle is ruined. It is a nightmare. Not really. But I don't like it. You get the picture.

So I say,"Eli, what happened to my water?"
And Eli says, " What do you mean?"
And then, I go, "You pulled the paper off."
And he says, "No, I didn't"
And so I said, "Yes, you did. It is gone. AND I can't drink this."
And so he says, "Mom, you have OCD."

Oh, so alright, this conversation may or may not have went exactly like this. I didn't write it down. Everyone should know that I have to write it down so it is word for word. And so I have to tell that this may not be word for word. But, the bottom line is this: He pulled my paper off, I didn't want to drink it, and then he called me OCD.

All my kids have issues.
Eli, for instance, likes to goof off when he should be doing work. Does this qulify as a quirk? Or is this a teenage habit?

Tripp has a ritual when he wakes up in the morning. He likes to be wrapped up in his blanket, laid on the couch in the same spot and then get a sippy with red juice.

Emma likes to get the most attention. I guess that is a middle child/girl thing.

Everyone has their quirks.

The Weekend.

This weekend was spent mostly just moving more stuff and lounging around. We have had a special guest - my 4th child - Mallie. Since her parents are moving, she has been visiting frequently. She is so quirky and witty. What an attitude! She is tired of being away from home and she told me,"I don't want to be here." Gotta love the honesty.

When I was getting ready for church, this is what I found watching TV. That is Tripp and Mallie. They are big buddies.

Later on the in afternoon, I tried to have an impromptu photo session with my kids. They were playing in the floor, we were listening to music (which seems to be a daily occurrence here) and I thought maybe I could get some shots of them. Have you ever tried to pose THREE kids? Especially when they are not interested and only feel like pestering their mother?

Here is what I got.

Eli picking on the little kids - they love it!

Oh, no. The girl is sensitive. Eli hurt her head.

NO, wait. She is faking.

And then I got this shot. I love it. It is the only good one.

Conversations

Setting: Lunch after church

Family time - talking - laughter - bored kids.

Conversation goes like this -

Emma: Mom, will you raise me the way I need to be raised?

Me: What?!?! (Imagine me choking and sputtering)

Emma: I said, will you raise me the way I need to be raised?

Me: (not breathing right) ask your daddy.

Emma: Daddy, will you raise me the way I need to be raised?

Dave: Emma, how do you think you need to be raised?

Emma: Without spankings.

Dave: NO.

Crisis averted. Now, Emma knows whats coming to her.

I Love this Picture.
I have to say that this is one of my favorite pictures ever taken. This was last June, and Dave and Emma were going to the Cinderella Ball. They had a date planned, and boy, was she ready. Emma loves going on dates. Especially Daddy Dates. Since she was little, he would take her on these outings, whether it be to the Dollar Store or just to the Shell Station to get Bug Juice after work.
When she was smaller, she would dress in her Old Navy "I LOVE MY Daddy" matching shirt and baseball cap. And, she always had the biggest smile on her face. Her Daddy is her first love. What a beautiful relationship he has with her. Everything he does sets the tone for what she looks for in future relationships.

So, what are they talking about in this picure? I have no idea. I like to imagine she is telling him about her gloves - how she loves that they come all the way up to her elbows. Or maybe she is
asking him about all the things they will do - the dancing, the singing, how many of her friends will be with their daddies. She just looks as if she is explaining something so important, and he is listening to her so intently.

Thanks, Dave, for being such a good daddy. They all love you so much. And so do I.

Prayertime at Dinnertime.

Dave and I don't really push bedtime prayers. Bad, I know. What we do observe with all the kids is sort of a family prayertime at dinner. Dave always likes family dinner together. We all have our plates, we sit down and NO ONE LEAVES THE TABLE until everyone else is finished. (If you do try to leave early, you are accused of ruining the whole dinner. Yep, I have been a known dinner-ruiner.) Then, one - by - one, everyone says their own individual prayers so we know what is on their minds and hearts. Here is the usual play-by-play.

Tripp (prayer #1 - he drops his head quickly as soon as he sees all hands are joined) - "Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for this day, Help me be a good boy, Help the boy at football feel better, Help Pa's heart get better" PAUSE - (at this point he looks up at Dave and says "Whatshernameagain" and Dave replies either "Aunt Joyce" or "Miss Judy") Then, Tripp resumes," Help Aunt Joyce and Miss Judy feel better, In Jesus name I pray, Amen."

Emma (prayer #2 - she looks around to make sure all eyes are on her) - And then she repeats what Tripp has said - except she asks to be a good girl instead of a boy. Somehow, she tends to add her own special flair to her prayers and what she says is so sweet. For instance, one night, her prayer "add on" went something like this. " ... and God, please take care of the people in heaven with you. I pray that they are having a good time."

It just makes me cry.

How pure are my babies' hearts? What if we, as adults, could share their faith? Wouldn't the world be so much better?

OK.

Eli (prayer #3) the recited teenage, typical mymomsmakingmeprayatthetableinfrontofpeopleandIdon'twantto prayer.

Then, it is Dave's turn.

I will say that sometimes it gets a little crazy. If Emma prays for something that Tripp did not, Tripp has to do a revision prayer after Emma is finished. And, just so you know, the boy at football - he was hurt LAST YEAR at a game. My kids still remember him in their prayers.

Cold. Snow. No school.

All the kids have been out of school since last Friday. I enjoy letting them stay up late and then sleep late. Translate that to mommy language - I get to sleep late and not get out of the house at 7 am. We have kinda been just hanging around, watching movies and playing.

Tripp decided today that he was going to surf down the stairs. He has a little boogie board we bought when we went to the beach last - last summer. So, with Eli cheering him on at the bottom of the steps and Emma hanging out on top, Tripp became his own stuntman. It was hilarous! He would start out standing on top of the board like he was surfing, and then he would wiggle - just so - the board would start down the steps. Then, he let go, rolled down the steps on his belly and finished off with a grand finale of a double roll at the bottom.

Dave came in during the performance and Tripp paused so his dad could watch. After a couple of flips, both Dave and I walked off. I heard Emma tell Tripp to "do it again - you are losing your audience."

Ah, they are awesome.

Well - Here I go...

So, I realize that my children are growing up. Quickly. And, even though I intend to write them little letters on their birthdays each year or sometimes I want to jot something down that is amusing, I sometimes (usually always) forget. I have been trying to come up with a way to document all day to day happenings, sayings, and catastrophes that make my family what it is.

I have decided to blog.

This way, maybe when they are older, I will be able to let them read what they did to me to make me lose my mind because I probably won't be able to tell them.

There are so many things I would want my kids to know.

And I hope this is going to be the best way to get to them.