Eli.

A few weeks ago, I was both humbled and disturbed when I had to drop my first little boy off at the door of high school.

He was absolutely thrilled to begin this new chapter. There was no anticipation on his part. Only excitement. But me? Well, of course, that is a different story.

I have known from day one that this child is special. He spoke early - by the time he turned one, he was speaking in sentences. His favorite movie was "The Lion King." He was able to name every animal before they ran across the screen in the opening credits. He potty trained at nineteen months. He could tell about the gravitational pull of the moon by time he was three. He swam well by four. He was reading well by time he turned five.

When Eli went to school, he went full force. School was so easy for him that he stayed in trouble. He shared his mischievousness by stuffing his pants pockets full of Pokemon cards - over 100, in fact. He got caught. In the cafeteria, he took the challenge of another boy and bent a spoon. That spoon - still in his box in the top of my closet - cost us 52 cents. One day, he told the teacher that I put special powder in his food to make him sleep at bedtime when he complained night after night of ninjas breaking into his windows and trying to "get" him. By first grade, during a fit on the playground, he threatened to burn the world down. We got a call to come to the school where we were met by the school psychologist, the principal, and a matronly spinster type teacher who thought we had a problem child on our hands. We did not, I insisted. He was just active, with an extremely active imagination. He needed a challenge.

Third grade brought more teacher/parent/student drama. Fourth grade brought a variety of discipline to get his attention. Surely he could sit down to do his work; Both Dave and I knew that all he needed were some challenges in class. Fifth and sixth grade brought about the same kind of problems. Seventh grade - whew. Seventh grade. That is when his hormones hit - Eli gained about six inches in height, thirty pounds, and a on/off like a lightswitch pissy attitude that carried on until the end of grade eight. Somewhere in the middle of grade eight, a teacher promised us that Eli's eccentricity would plane out soon. We waited patiently for him to have to sit down and pay attention and study to learn. My mother heart was sympathetic to what went on in his head. Here was a child, my child, who caused me great joy along with great drama. He was always so pleasent to be around, so full of ideas and stories and action. I knew they just didn't really understand. When I looked at this little-big boy-man, I saw my baby. And I still do.

Finally - Eli's high school career began on August 10th.

On that Tuesday morning, I silently watched this striking young man get ready for his first day of high school. Pleasent, planed out, ready for challenges. Eli was placed in all honors classes. He is handsome, articulate, well read. He has goals for his life. He knows what he wants. He has taken charge. I couldn't be more proud of him.

As I got ready to pull up to the front drive, Eli told me I could stop, to just let him out at the sidewalk. So I did. When he got out of the van, he gave me a dismissal with the fling of his bangs. He gave me a quick "See ya, Mom." And off he went, with his hands up in the air, letting everyone know he had arrived. And he has.

Today, I got a text from Eli. All it said was "Can you come to school and sign some papers for me." And so I went, right then, to see what he had done. Did he loose his phone already? Was he being sent to alternative school? In School Suspension?

When I got to the school, he was in the lunch room eating. He "swaggered" up to me (he told me just last night that he has a "swagger") and handed me the papers to sign. My sweet baby is running for class president. He showed me all the signatures that he had already gotten; he knew that he had the support. I asked him what he had to do; a teacher told me he had to advertise and give a speech, to which he replied something about better lunches. The teacher suggested that we use, 'Vote Eli. All Your Dreams Will Come True."

If she only knew how right she was.

How blessed I am to have been picked to be this child's mother. While I am excited to watch him grow and mature over the next four years, I also have a sense of dread because I know that in four years, he will start another chapter. I have the desire to hold on tight to this kid, to not let him go, to keep him forever. I know this is not realistic. So, for now, I am going to work at spending more time with him, enjoying his personality, building him up.

Woot! Woot!

I found out yesterday that I passed my RAC. What is the RAC, you say? Dave asked the same thing. RAC stands for Reading Accross the Curriculum. It is one part of a four part test called Praxis II that I have to take to get my teaching license.

When I went and took my RAC, I also took another part called CIA. While I would like this CIA to be as interesting as the real CIA, it is not. It stands for Curriculum, Instruction and Assessment. It is really just a Hodge-podge of useless information. I felt good about this test, but I will not know the results until September 24.

Starting next Monday, I will enter in the final stage of my undergraduate degree. How relieved is everyone is cyberland? Thrilled, more than me, I am sure. I am sick of talking school. So, I am really excited to start my final section of classes. All that is left is Student Teaching.

Soon, changes will be coming -
I will get to -

1. Teach a class and not sit in a class.
2. Retire from my yucky job.
3. Use my brain to create fun things for kids.
4. Look forward to summers off.
5. Look forward to a paycheck that is much more than what I make now.
6. Look forward to my children getting 25% off of their tuition in college.
7. Be around my children more.
8. Get my act together. :)

So, now, I prepare for more classes. I have ordered my books. I am waiting for them to be delivered. I am ready for what ever else lies ahead. I am getting ready to graduate! Woot!

Friday.

This has been one long week. I am seriously sleepy today; I woke up at 4 a.m. and could not get back to sleep until almost six. I thought of crazy things like some certain songs, and I thought about how tired I was going to be all day; then I realized that I had a kid stuck in my back. Emma and Tripp are so big now that I feel their heads for length of hair to see who it is.

We don't have any weekend plans as of yet. M is going away for the weekend with a friend. So that leaves us with four kids. I am sure that all others will start calling around to find someone to go home with. I love all the kids, but I am dreaming of alone time with Dave. I would love to be out on the lake for the day, then come home and go to bed without anyone coming in to cuddle or stealing the covers and kicking me. I used to dream of trips to Nashville, walking the streets at night, and a nice dinner. All I want now is some quiet and a nap :)

I have 10 days until I go back to school. I have enjoyed the break. I think I am going to join Netflix because we are out of Redbox movies to watch.

Update.

It sure has been hot! School started last week. We all survived. But it has been so hot, that the moment you walk outside, it takes your breath away and you automatically start sweating. I think that this summer has matched last winter. While we had tons of snow for the last winter season, we seem to have had extra heat for this summer.

I looked at some football game pictures awhile ago - I could almost feel the crisp air, smell the scent of chimney smoke and taste the hot chocolate that we get at the games. While it has been nice to be warm, I am ready for some coolness. Not cold, but cooler.

We have had a lazy weekend. By Saturday at noon, we were all so hot and sweaty that we went to the pool. That only lasted a couple of hours. Then, we came home, and each child tried their best to find someone to take them for the evening. Aunt Jamie took one kid, one went with friends from church and the oldest went with friends to the fair. That only left me and Dave with the two little ones. It was a nice break - but it was so quiet.

Sunday was lazy too. After morning church, we rented movies... and I took a big nap. When I woke up, Tripp didn't look so healthy. In fact, he had a fever and was not feeling good at all. Then he started vomiting. And cat napping. And vomiting. This lasted until now. There has been no vomit for a few hours, but there was a 9 a.m. doctors visit that says he has Strep.

We have had one child with tonsillitis/possible strep last week. She is still on antibiotics. So I guess that possible strep was reality. Now we are on Kid #2. Who is next? Strep loves Eli. And Emma. I have never caught it. But I am starting to become paranoid.

With five kids, I am always in awe of how things can turn around in the drop of a hat.

Time for School.

All my kids started school this year.

It was a little more difficult for me than usual. Not only did Eli start high school, Tripper started Kindergarten. My heart broke on Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Then, again today.

I have been so sad that when Eli got out of the van this morning, Emma said, "OK Mom, you can start crying now."

Eli - age 9, Emma- age 20 months

Tripp - age 5 days old.

On Tuesday, I got the privilidge of dropping this sweet,

caring young man off at high school.

On that morning, he looked like this.

In my head, and in my heart, what I saw was this.

Eli - age 2

After I took Eli to school, I had to take my sweet, smart little-big girl to her first day of first grade. This is what she looked like on Tuesday morning.

But instead, I thought about this.

Finally, Friday arrived. The day I have been dreading for five years. The day when I will have no more children at home.
The day of freedom for some (Dave) :)

This is Tripper, this morning, ready for his first day in his new school outfit picked out all by himself. Even the hat. Especially the hat :)

But all I thought of was this.

Here are a couple of pictures of the kids this morning.

I know they are going to have a great time. I just didn't expect it to go by so fast.

No Title.

I think that sometimes I just need to write for me. I am not even sure if I will publish this. I am so tired- tired of school, tired of work, tired of the never ending cycle of groceries, laundry, and baths. I am even tired of bitching. I wish I felt caught up. I wish that I was not at the end of the list. I wish I could go back to the season of staying at home. But I cannot.

Yesterday, I lay down on my bed after work and I cried. I cried because I hate my job. I cried because I can't get it together. I cried because even though I only have two semesters left, well, I have two semesters left. I cried because I need a pedicure, my hair needs to be cut, I have laundry to fold, I don't spend enough time with my kids. I cried because my heart hurts for my girls. I cried because I was crying. Who knows.

Then, this morning, I happened to read some Kate Chopin. Her works were written in the late 1800's, in the days of slavery. Kate's stories all relate to women who seem to be in the same season I am in - the season of children, home, husband and trying for balance. There was one story called "A Pair of Silk Stockings" - I had never read this story before. I read this, re-read it, and now I know: all women are confused and angry.

No, not really. This story made me think about how if we, as wives and mothers, sometimes put ourselves first, we end up being better wives and mothers. Now, I just need to find time to do it.