Seasons.

I am not a fan of change.

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I have a good friend that reminds me that when things change, it is just another "season."

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Today, as I was baking Emma's birthday cupcakes, I thought of all the different seasons that I have been thru in the past several years. With all the seasons, there are particular things in life that remind me of those times.

• When I think about being pregnant with Tripp, I think about picking Dave up at the airport. I always remember one maternity shirt in particular. It was a white button down top. 3/4 sleeves. Big collar. I wish I could wear it now.

• When I think about being pregnant with Emma, I get a lonely feeling and I think about laying on the couch - alot.

• When I think about Eli's birth, I think of the beach. I also get a pseudo-cramp in my left shoulder cause he wouldn't sleep unless he was laying on that arm.

• When I think of Dave, I think of men's cologne. Inappropriateness. Laughter. His fake voices. Holding hands. We still hold hands when we go to sleep.

• When I think about all my friends from the Y, I think about eating a hamburger from Sonic.

Anyways, you get the picture.

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So, the season I am faced with this week is that my daughter is going to be six years old. Sometimes it makes me sad she is growing up. When she was littler, she would always come downstairs in the middle of the night to potty. When she was age two, three or four, she would get me up to go to the bathroom with her. When she was done, she always sat on the stool and looked at me.

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I remember thinking at that time, when it made me so mad to have to wake up, "One day, she will not come get me. She will just go on her own." And then, I would not be mad anymore, because I know that the season would change. She would eventually go by herself.

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She does not come get me anymore.

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I wish I could go back to the days of seeing her little face, so tired, looking at me in the middle of the night. I wish I could go back to potty training, the days of doing nothing, watching Dora. I miss all my kids little bodies, their sweet breath, their kisses. I miss my double stroller. I miss walking around in the middle of the day, going from store to store, going to the park, playing, playing, playing.

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New things are going to happen this next year. A girl changes from age six to age seven. More indepth conversations will be had, tears will be shed, drama will unfold. She will get her feelings hurt. She will hurt others feelings. We will laugh, cry and go shopping. This will be a great season.

Rain, Rain.

I, like everyone else, feel like it has been raining FOREVER.

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Today is a great day. There is so much rain, I am staying in the house. I do have to go out eventually to pick up Emma's birthday cake. She is turning six (!) on Tuesday. I need to go to Sam's club. I am going to try to wait as long as possible to do that.

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Today I am cleaning the house, I need to study Geology. My life is such a whirlwind (or tornado, at times) that I am thankful to be able to stay at home, even for a few hours. Besides working all week, I have to find time to go with the kids and do "school stuff."

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I am off work next Friday so I can go with Emma to the Pumpkin Patch.

Fall break is right around the corner.

Emma's birthday party is tomorrow.

Breathtaking.

Sometimes, I love my children so much it takes my breath away.

I had to go to LMS to see Eli the other day. He came out of class and I watched him walk down the hallway toward me. My "almost" six feet tall Eli, blonde headed, blue eyed, long arms and legs, big wide smile. Dimple in one cheek. His swagger is that of a young man. He carries himself with confidence. He is pleasent. Sure of himself. No insecurities.

As I watched him walking toward me, I teared up. What I saw in my mind was my firstborn, two year old son with white-blonde hair, a tanned little body, so skinny, so smart, spelling words, telling me about the sun and the moon. Curling up in my lap, reading books with me at bedtime. Loving to be rocked to sleep. Never wanting to sleep alone. Asking for broccoli and rice for dinner, drinking chocolate milk. Never afraid of the water. Loving art projects. Always wanting to learn more useless information.

So, anyways, Eli walks up to me. We say hi, I talk to him for one minute, and off he goes, back to class. I think all day of how proud I am of him. I am so excited to see what he is going to do with his life. This kid has an awesome potential. He takes my breath away.

Conversations.

This Weekend.

Sam's Club.

Emma.

Setting: Dave was working on getting a new/different card. Eli was playing a game. I was trying to occupy Emma and Tripper. There was this AMAZING movie on the big T.V. screen. (I found out later that it was Disney Wild or something like that.) This movie showed polar bears, lions in the wild, dolphins, whales, sharks, well, you get the picture. The kids stood there for 10-15 minutes, ohhhh-ing and aaaahhhh-ing over this movie.

A big shark jumps up and eats a seal (well, this is what I think. Something got ate by a big fish)

Emma: Oh, NO! Did you see that! That poor baby seal!

Me: Emma, that is the circle of life (I borrowed that from the Lion King :) ) That is how we all
survive. It is the same as us - you eat chicken legs. Where do they come from?

Emma: (TOTALLY SUPRISED) CHICKENS!

Me: Yes, and where do you think that hamburger comes from? It comes from a cow.

Emma: Oh, so I KNOW what you are going to tell me next. I know where hot dogs come from - dogs, right? Well, I am never eating a hot dog again!

Me: laughing. laughing. laughing.

Emma: POOR HARLEY!

Yes, and please, and thank you.

Manners, anyone?
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As parents, we teach our kids manners from birth. How RUDE, some adults say, when kids do not say thank you for a gift. My boys are taught to hold the door for women. I teach all my kids to look people in the face when they speak to you. I tell Eli that if he is going to be late, make the phone call. Emma, no burping without saying excuse me. Tripp, don't fart in my face. Go to the bathroom.

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EPIPHANY - I figured out that in life -you don't owe anyone anything. You do things out of kindness. When favors become necessities, it takes away the joy and makes it a burden.

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Then, why, as adults, don't we practice what we preach?

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I just heard a story. My little brother (almost 30) had some tickets to a concert. Due to his little boy getting the H1N1R2D2 flu thing, he was unable to go. Wow. $200 worth of tickets, purchased SIX months ago... He gave them to my older brother and his wench. The wench picked them up.... Guess what she said? NOTHING. No thanks, can I pay you something? No NOTHING.

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How Rude, right?

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People take advantage all the time. I hear it, see it, smell it and taste it daily.

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My kids throw trash BESIDE the trash can. No worries, mom will fix it. I am supposed to fix it. To a certain extent. But Eli, at the tender age of 13, has to have some responsibility about him. Dave was more firm with Eli - he taught him to do his laundry at a ten, he is responsible for picking up his clothes. He makes his own snacks, and just recently he sold mums to pay for a Beta Club trip.

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Why do we push responsibility and manners on our children, yet we can't follow thru as adults?

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Why do we make excuses for adults? Some people say that it is the wench's "personality." You know what she is. Just accept it. My mother is a nut. Just accept it.

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But do I have to subject myself to it? No. Yes. Maybe So.

Rainin' on a Tuesday.

Middle of the week crazies!

Homework, homework, everywhere, everywhere.

Instead of doing my homework, I am going to blog to get my thoughts in order.
As if that ever happens.

Last night, we ventured to watch Eli kick at a football game. I love watchin' my little boy kick.

Like he is my little boy anymore. Anyways, he kicked. Some good, some not so good. He still impresses me every time he kicks. My hope is that he kicks all the way thru college. At Harvard.

School is going good for the kids. We seem to be in a new routine and it is going pretty smoothly. We have added Mallie to the mix, and I love her so much. She is a joy, with a quirky personality. But that fourth kid is hard. HARD. Mallie is a great kid. I enjoy her being around. She is one of my own. My issue lies with my other kids. The workload for me is not any harder for kid #4, it is dealing with the interactions between my kids. They gang up on me. Some nights, we are slacking on consistant bedtimes. That makes for overtired kids, which in turn makes for morning tears.

Just imagine. FOUR KIDS TO SCHOOL BY 7:30 a.m.
If someone woulda told me this ten years ago, I woulda laughed. But we make it, it is OK. When I get to work, I take a deep breath. I feel as though I have ran a marathon. In a good way.

Thank You Liquid Hormones.

Busy. So Busy.

Last night, I looked across the couch at my husband. While I was studying the big bang theory, and how rocks either flake apart or fracture, he was reading a book on how to speak in public.

There is lots o' schoolwork going on in this house.

I am a little overwhelmed, as usual. Nah, I don't say as usual because for some reason, I am feeling pretty good so far. Maybe it is large amounts of time I spend studying. I have all day during the day. I will say that when I went back to college over TWO years ago, I had a very very very hard time getting my work done. My baby wasn't even two yet. Emma was three. I also had Mallie during the days. And I watched Ethan (who was six months old) one day a week that summer. How I did that, well, I have no clue.

I guess I have no problem with it really, cause stay at home moms don't do anything anyways.... that is my soapbox. I will get on that another day.

Anyways, things are looking good. I try to tell Dave that it will go by so fast. If I play my cards right, I should graduate NEXT December. That is pretty good, considering a couple of semesters, I only took seven and nine hours.

My other thought is how college only really teaches endurance. Take poor Dave, for example. He is in a COM 100 class. Speech, right? Well, at any given time, I can turn on the local TV station and see him talking in a meeting. He does announcements at church at least two Sunday's a month. But still, here he is, trudging along. Getting it done. I am so proud.

One of my classes is Child Development from birth to age five. I live this course every day. I could probably tell some stories that would make the book. I spend time defining placenta previa. Been there. How about a definition for torticollis? Been there, too. Separation anxiety? Still living it.

It is all about endurance. And $3250 a semester.

Thursdays.

My Thursdays are super busy. They go something like this:

6 am - Dave wakes me up. I am not happy. I go take a shower and start getting ready

6:10 - I get all backpacks on the stove. Clothes laid out in order on the couch. Make sure Eli is up.

6:20 - I get all the little kids up. Usually, Mallie is with us, so I get them all three on the couch and let them watch about 10 minutes of "Spongie" while I put my makeup on and fix my hair.

6:30 - Mallie goes first. Hair/teeth brushed. clothes on. She is a willing participant. She is not as whiny as the other kids. She is still afraid of me. Emma is next. She is usually fussy by Thursday.

7 - I sit the girls down on the couch while I get dressed. Somewhere in the middle, I have put Tripps clothes on.

7:05 - I get Tripp in the bathroom. He refuses to open his mouth to brush his teeth. EVERY MORNING. If I swat his butt, he cries. Then I can brush his teeth. He wears "man stuff." This is deoderant, cologne and Dave's Auqa Net hairspray. Yes, Dave still uses Aqua Net.

7:20 - out the door. In the van. Wait, no kids have shoes on. So we do a shoe scramble.
And off we go.

Somewhere in the middle, I feed breakfast.

First stop - Eli. Second Stop - Emma and Mallie. Third Stop - Tripper
Fourth Stop - Me. I am at work by 7:50 a.m.

I go to class on Thursdays from 9:10 - 12:45.
Then, I go back to work until 2:45 when I go pick all the kids up. Eli has football practice, so he stays at school.

I take Mallie to her Dad at 3:05, my little kids go to grandma's at 3:10.
I have a class at Tech from 4 - 5:50.
Eli has football games on Thursday nights at 6:30. So I go there.

We all get home by 9 p.m. Baths, teeth, clothes picked out.
It starts all over.

Labor Day.

It has been a slow weekend. We really had no plans.


So this is what I have accomplished this weekend.



1. I played Barbies.

2. I did 15,000 loads of laundry.

3. I still have one load to put away.

4. I sewed Eli's practice football pants up... AGAIN.

5. I sewed Emmas sweater up. She pulled a string.

6. I went grocery shopping.

7. I took Emma for a walk. And then we went and had our toes done.

8. I did homework.

9. We went to church - twice.



It seems kinda boring, huh?

Long Week.

It has been a long and tiring week. I am so ready to be done.

This semester (as I have complained/questioned in the past) I have taken 16 hours.

And I moved to the BIG SCHOOL.

Ah, the big school... what a story. I was/am still so scared. When I go to class, my heart pounds. I sit in the corner so I can see who comes in. I can assess their age, when they will graduate, if they are goof offs, what kind of teacher they will be. I look at them as competition.

Ninety nine percent are 20 year olds, living in apartments, having a good time. The majority of them know nothing about life. They are still stupid in a way.

Take yesterday, for example. I had 28 people in my class. Two guys. One guy that was older than me. One woman with two kids. She was really wrinkled, but she was a smoker. That is why. She may be younger than me. I tried to talk to her, she was immature. So I didn't.

We had to do a get to know you exercise where you had to choose what type of teacher you are. There was a list of qualities. I fell in the "mommy that bandages knees" group. No guys in my group. It seemed to be the largest. Mostly made up of girls who want to teach pre-k, kindergarten and 1st grade. I believe it was called the sympathetic group, or something like that. Anyways, I would say there was about 12 people in my group. We had to pick out pro's and con's of our teaching philosophy. No one but me and one other girl talked. The rest of them looked around like they were embarrassed. And they had no clue what a philosophy was.

Regardless, I love my class. I LOVE all my classes this semester, except for Geology. The rest are teaching classes.

I got to stand up and say my name, I am a JUNIOR, and I wanna teach Kindergarten.

It was cool.