You have been a momma a long time when...

• I am sitting in class, just finished my sub from Subway, and picked up my napkin to wipe my mouth. The Subway logo has red on it- my first thought was, "What now! Who's nose is bleeding!"

Oh wait. The kids aren't even with me.

• When Tripper busted his mouth last night on the plastic Disney princess stool in the bathroom, I let Emma hold a wet washcloth to his mouth to stop the bleeding.

I suck.

• I look forward to when people invite my children to sleepovers. You would be suprised how one -just one - less child changes household dynamics.

Seriously. I miss them bunches.

• I feel blessed when I only do ONE load of laundry before work.
• I spend time researching different VBS's we can attend because

A. They will feed the kids.

B. The kids will be separated and be forced to make new friends.

C. The kids will be pressured to use manners.

D. The little kids will go into another room and play with others. And not fuss because of the heat , hunger, being touched by a sibling.

• Fantasies include : sleep, going the lake on a boat ride, and a clean house.

100 Things.

I copied this idea from another blog I read. I thought it would be fun to see if I love 100 of anything. Here we go!

1. My children
2. Dave
3. My inlaws and their kindness and acceptance and support.
4. My Dad bringing me coffee in the morning.
5. God's grace and mercy.
6. The power of Prayer!
7. My children's acceptance.
8. The thought of unconditional love.
9. The smell of the ocean.
10. The sound of the water splashing.
11. A cold shower after being at the pool, lake or beach.
12. Dave's cologne.
13. Dave's laugh.
14. My kids laughter.
15. Mallie Mo and her reasoning on things.
16. Mallies belly laughs.
17. The surprises that God gives us.
18. Freshly shaved legs.
19. Clean hair that does good when it is fixed.
20. tanned feet.
21. Going away for the night with Dave.
22. Watching my kids do something new.
23. The right color of lipstick.
24. A really great pedicure.
25. Shopping and finding good deals.
26. A cute dress.
27. Bath and Body Works.
28. Taking pictures.
29. My nephew Ethan and his dislike for Dave. :)
30. The fact that I have made it this far.
31. warm cookies.
32. Christmas morning.
33. Birthdays of my children - thinking about that particular day.
34. Pregnant bellies - NOT MY OWN!
35. New earrings that are flashy.
36. A new purse.
37. Sandals and flip flops.
38. I am a senior in college.
39. I will graduate soon.
40. I have a 3.4 GPA (for now!)
41. I started with a 1.8.
42. Writing a good paper.
43. Getting A's in class.
44. Knowing I turned out better than my mother wanted.
45. My van.
46. Dave's new truck.
47. Dave's look of happiness in the new truck.
48. Not switching vehicles cause all five kids fit in both vehicles.
49. My girls.
50. Their smiles.
51. Watching them change.
52. Buying them clothes.
53. Eli's ability to love and be affectionate.
54. Kisses to the forehead.
55. My surrogate mother at church.
56. Knowing I can get advice from her.
57. Cereal in a glass with cold milk.
58. Giving good advice.
59. Getting good advice.
60. Non judgemental people.
61. Nicholas Sparks' books.
62. A good cry.
63. Healthy kids.
64. Air conditioning.
65. A toasty blanket in air conditioning.
66. Going on a date.
67. Holding hands.
68. A CLEAN HOUSE.
69. fresh sheets on the bed.
70. No dirty laundry.
71. New boxes of cereal.
72. Vacation.
73. Hugs.
74. Being able to be myself.
75. Accepting who I am.
76. Being accepted for who I am and where I came from.
77. Aquafina water.
78. Freshly washed kids.
79. My kids kissing me,
80. Tight hugs.
81. Slushy Popsicles in the summer.
82. Usher....
83. Great music as I am driving.
84. Cancelled classes.
85. Getting out of class early.
86. Laughing during class.
87. Zero candy bars (haven't had one in years!)
88. Mountain Dew.
89. Great conversation with great friends.
90. Mexican lunch breaks.
91. Sushi.
92. The fact that I have listed alot of food.
93. The ability to say no.
94. People who want to work in the congregation.
95. Compliments on my bulletin.
96. The fact that I have named 96 of these crazy things.
97. Friday afternoons.
98. Going for a walk.
99. Taking a day off.
100. The power of prayer.

Back from the Beach.

Ah, the little kids are home!
After four long days without them, they have returned.
While they were gone, I had some super quality time with my two big girls and Eli.

We shopped. Boy, did we shop.
We got their rooms cleaned.

But what is left from their rooms is in piles in my kitchen, waiting for me to sort it out.

I am absolutely loving life. I love all five of my children. There is so much laughter in my house that sometimes my heart aches. I am full of love for each of my children. And sometimes my heart hurts for the times that I have missed. I wish I could have been involved sooner. But, I know that we are doing what is intended.

Last night we were treated to rice and beans. It was awesome. Then we had Rock Band Night. Mostly, I just sat and listened to the laughter and singing.

Later on, Emma fell asleep on one of the girls laps. I was going to take Emma to bed, but my favorite 13 year old told me she would do it. So, she carried Emma up to bed. A few minutes later, I went to check on them. Emma's sister was reading her a story. They ended up reading five books, with Emma fighting sleep for some precious time with the sweet girl.

And then finally, Emma went to sleep.

Today, I think about what it was like to be standing on the outside last night when the little kids got home from the beach. I am focusing on the tight hugs from big kids to little. I am replaying the "I love you" and the "I missed you so much" that I heard so many times last night.

I have always loved the scripture in the Bible that says, "And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3)

I always thought that scripture pertained to faith. I have talked about my children's faith over the years, how strong their faith is - how they know that God will take care of them.

Over the past few weeks, I have learned it is not only faith, but acceptance, love, and pureness of heart.

My children have new sisters. Without question, they have new members to our family - no questions asked. I wish more adults could witness this wonderful happening in my home. We should all be like the little children. We would be much better off.

School, Work and Kids... What else is there?

Happy Tuesday!

Summer seems to be quickly passing by. Everyone is so busy with lots of activities. Just this week, the little kids are at the beach. They will be back tomorrow. Next week, one kid will do volleyball camp, a couple of kids will have swimming lessons.

In a few weeks, the teenagers will go to camp for a week. Eli will have football kicking camp, and DARE camp also. He already goes to football workouts three days a week.

As for me, I am still chugging along in summer school. And I am still working. VBS is next week also.

There was ten weeks off of school and now we are down to seven weeks. I am already thinking about five kids who will need backpacks, school school supplies, school fees...

Maybe I need to have a yard sale?

Where were you?

Many years ago, I remember looking at the moon at night and thinking about the one person that was made for me. I wondered what he was doing. I just knew he was out there.

About a year later, I found Dave.

I knew that one day, I would have lots of kids.
Before Eli was born, I used to try to picture what he would look like.... blonde hair? brown hair? blue eyes? brown eyes? I imagined how this child would change my life - he would make me a mother. So, in February of 1996, I got my baby boy with little blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He did change my life.

For seven whole years, Eli was an only child. I used to sit and daydream about the kids I would have in the future. I knew they were "there" - I used to talk about how I loved them already. I pictured a girl with curly brown hair and big brown eyes. I pictured another little tow headed boy with big blue eyes just like Dave and Eli.

When I had the little kids, I didn't exactly get what I pictured. I got a little girl with straight blonde hair and big hazel eyes and then I got a little boy with blonde hair and brown eyes.

That was OK by me. :)

It seemed that all along, I knew that they were out there - all four of these people that I love so much, more than anything else in the whole world.

I told Dave about two years ago that I did not feel "done." I still needed to be a momma. Who would have known that it was so close.

Now, I am able to take care of two precious girls. It is amazing. Every day is like an adventure... you know, that kind of adventure when children are small and they learn and say new things all the time? This is the kind of adventure we are all living together.

Now, I have five children. It is such a blessing to me to have these girls. They are gifts to me.
When I learned their birthdates, I wondered, "What were they doing in 1997? I had a one year old son at that time." And I wondered, "What were they doing in 2000? Eli was four years old then."

The girls are teaching me so much. I am learning about love all over again, I am learning about letting go, taking and sharing. Because of them, I am a stronger person. I am thankful they are in our family.

What do I have to say?

Wow! I can't believe that I am having trouble coming up with something to blog about. I open the blog several times throughout the week.... I start to write then I X it out! Maybe I feel like I don't have anything important to share. Some things - well, lots of things, I can't share. I feel like I should not expose all that is going on.

I have toyed with making this a password only blog. That way, I can write about our lives and what is really happening. But there again, I feel like I would be infringing on others privacy.

So, let's see... What can I tell?

I turned 35 last Saturday. It made me sad. I am on the downhill slide to 40. Wow.

Tripper is turning 5 this Saturday. It will be my official last day of intersession and Saturday School. We have no birthday party planned. We ran out of time. He and Emma are going with the Grandma to the beach on Sunday morning... so what we are going to have is a family party - kind of a "welcome" for the new kids, a birthday/summer deal at the swimming pool in a few weeks, where we will invite the entire group of people we love best to come hang out.

Sucks, I know. But, Tripper does get to go to the beach.

What will I do with out the little kids here? I will still have three kids at home with me. Easier or harder? I will let you know.

My summer semester starts tomorrow. I have had five days off. Have I done anything? Not really. I still had to work and I did not get any house stuff done. I sat at the pool with the kids.

And I washed ALOT of towels. :)