Sometimes in life, there are detours.
I may be zooming along just fine, then BAM! Something changes, throws me off track, and I get thrown into a situation that I don't know how to handle.
Then, I spend my time playing the coulda, woulda, shoulda game.
What could I have done to make things different?
What would have made the difference in my outcome?
Should I continue on?
I know that I shouldn't question. I am not in control. I am not the boss.
What to do?
Well, I am trying to get into my head that this time, since I am not totally happy with a situation that I am in that I am going to make best of the situation.
There is always a life lesson to be learned, right?
Right now my life lesson seems to be saying there are some MEAN people in the world.
So, I am going to keep on looking.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Innocence.
I would like to keep my kids pure from the bad things in the world, but no matter how much I want it, it is just not gonna happen.
Let's talk about the subject of death, for instance.
Just a couple of weeks ago, on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, we were riding thru our small little town. It just so happens that that there was a dead dog in the road over by the DGM (Dollar General Market). So Emma says to me, TWICE, "Hey Mom, what is that in the road?" I avoided her questions, in fact, I pretended she didn't even speak. The third time she asks, as we are leaving the DGM, "HEY MOM, WHAT IS THAT THING IN THE ROAD?" I quietly answer, "a dog." She says to me, "well, is he taking a nap? But why would he go to sleep in the road?" I just said, quietly again, "no, he's not asleep" hoping to leave it at that. Did that work? No. She said in a very strained voice, "is he dead?" And so I answered with a quiet "yes."
This conversation went on and on. Tripp became involved. Why would people run over animals? Why did the dog have to die? Did he go to heaven? What if Harley-Charley died? We would miss him so much. Does everyone remember the kitten that Mommy ran over (last YEAR) and his head was squished and his tongue was hanging out?
I get sad that my children are having to learn that bad things happen in the world. I would like them to keep up the idea of sunshine, flowers and rainbows. But it is not going to happen. Just recently, we also discussed divorce. Why do people get divorced? What does that mean? Why wouldn't mommies and daddies stay married? Wouldn't their kids be sad? Are you and Daddy going to get divorced?
Ugh.
Just a couple of days ago, following a family dinner with a family who really doesn't talk much, (mine, by the way) Emma and Tripp noticed that everyone went outside to smoke after dinner. They know the basics about smoking being bad for you, turning your lungs black, and that type of thing. But they never realised that one of their aunt's smoked. As we were pulling away from the party, Tripp asks, "Did you tell them that their lungs will turn black and that they will die? Roll the window down and tell them." Um, no Tripp, I didn't tell them. They know."
So, I guess it is just sad when the kids start to know things aren't always peachy. Eli, of course, knows things. I have already been thru things with him. It has just been so long ago that I forgot how bad it felt when he started becoming knowlegeable about worldly things.
It makes me want to lock them up in the house.
**** DISCLAIMER - as a former smoker, I try to keep my mouth shut to smokers. I would love to smoke, but the fact is, I am an addict. I am addicted to cigarettes. So I don't smoke at all. I am just sad when people do smoke, cause it is the hardest thing in the world to quit.
Let's talk about the subject of death, for instance.
Just a couple of weeks ago, on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, we were riding thru our small little town. It just so happens that that there was a dead dog in the road over by the DGM (Dollar General Market). So Emma says to me, TWICE, "Hey Mom, what is that in the road?" I avoided her questions, in fact, I pretended she didn't even speak. The third time she asks, as we are leaving the DGM, "HEY MOM, WHAT IS THAT THING IN THE ROAD?" I quietly answer, "a dog." She says to me, "well, is he taking a nap? But why would he go to sleep in the road?" I just said, quietly again, "no, he's not asleep" hoping to leave it at that. Did that work? No. She said in a very strained voice, "is he dead?" And so I answered with a quiet "yes."
This conversation went on and on. Tripp became involved. Why would people run over animals? Why did the dog have to die? Did he go to heaven? What if Harley-Charley died? We would miss him so much. Does everyone remember the kitten that Mommy ran over (last YEAR) and his head was squished and his tongue was hanging out?
I get sad that my children are having to learn that bad things happen in the world. I would like them to keep up the idea of sunshine, flowers and rainbows. But it is not going to happen. Just recently, we also discussed divorce. Why do people get divorced? What does that mean? Why wouldn't mommies and daddies stay married? Wouldn't their kids be sad? Are you and Daddy going to get divorced?
Ugh.
Just a couple of days ago, following a family dinner with a family who really doesn't talk much, (mine, by the way) Emma and Tripp noticed that everyone went outside to smoke after dinner. They know the basics about smoking being bad for you, turning your lungs black, and that type of thing. But they never realised that one of their aunt's smoked. As we were pulling away from the party, Tripp asks, "Did you tell them that their lungs will turn black and that they will die? Roll the window down and tell them." Um, no Tripp, I didn't tell them. They know."
So, I guess it is just sad when the kids start to know things aren't always peachy. Eli, of course, knows things. I have already been thru things with him. It has just been so long ago that I forgot how bad it felt when he started becoming knowlegeable about worldly things.
It makes me want to lock them up in the house.
**** DISCLAIMER - as a former smoker, I try to keep my mouth shut to smokers. I would love to smoke, but the fact is, I am an addict. I am addicted to cigarettes. So I don't smoke at all. I am just sad when people do smoke, cause it is the hardest thing in the world to quit.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Friday - ooooh no!
Not the usual title of my Friday posts, I know.
This means I am just a few days of going back to work after a busy vacation week. I guess I should just accept it. There is only one month till school goes back and all the summer stress of babysitter issues will be over. We made it this far - now, we must finish up. Dave has had a busy week - work is beginning to come in! Actually, he is at work again today. And he has a job all next week. It just leaves me needing a babysitter. Or the kids will have to be locked inside the house. :)
This is where we have spent the last couple of days. Ah, it was good. We fished, caught turtles, swam and ate junk. *I use the term WE loosely* I really just observed. I read two Nicholas Sparks books that I hadn't read before. I love him so much because most of his books are based in NC on the coast... and I lived there for a couple of years. I can really visualize what he is describing. The book I finished last night was based in Wilmington. So that was close to my heart.
Homework is calling me. Not really, I just have to complete a unit by Sunday. Since we have 30+ people coming over on Saturday, I have to clean and get a move on other things. Off to write a lesson plan... have a great 4th!
This means I am just a few days of going back to work after a busy vacation week. I guess I should just accept it. There is only one month till school goes back and all the summer stress of babysitter issues will be over. We made it this far - now, we must finish up. Dave has had a busy week - work is beginning to come in! Actually, he is at work again today. And he has a job all next week. It just leaves me needing a babysitter. Or the kids will have to be locked inside the house. :)
This is where we have spent the last couple of days. Ah, it was good. We fished, caught turtles, swam and ate junk. *I use the term WE loosely* I really just observed. I read two Nicholas Sparks books that I hadn't read before. I love him so much because most of his books are based in NC on the coast... and I lived there for a couple of years. I can really visualize what he is describing. The book I finished last night was based in Wilmington. So that was close to my heart.
Homework is calling me. Not really, I just have to complete a unit by Sunday. Since we have 30+ people coming over on Saturday, I have to clean and get a move on other things. Off to write a lesson plan... have a great 4th!
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