While today was a super busy day (and it helps to stay busy) my business caused me to be confronted with questions. Yesterday, a well meaning friend of mine asked me for details. In a public place. And guess what happened?
I had to stop talking and leave. Then, a forty five minute meltdown happened. Too bad that I was half hour from the house, that I was at rehearsal for dance recital- I had to leave. Right Then.
Eventually, I calmed down. But it is when it is calm that the thoughts start. What did they do today? Is Annie getting her Vienna Sausages? Gogurt?
So yesterday, I ended up talking to the new mom. She had some questions for me. She was looking for some paperwork. It is the weirdest feeling in the world telling someone who is "mothering" the kids you have been "mothering" for the past year what kinds of foods they eat. Reminding them to check and see if they have toothbrushes (the girls toothbrushes were in the holder in their bathroom). I told her about report cards, school habits and other things such as when prescriptions have to be refilled. And while it hurt, maybe it helped a little because I felt like I was still taking care of them.
It seems that the hardest times are between 2 and 5 p.m. I think that once I get the house situated, that everyones' rooms are back in order, that we will be better. I feel like trying to erase memories.
I feel like deleting the DCS Caseworker from my FB friends list. When she posted about her "foster dog" and she was talking about our dog - well, that kinda done me in.
Tomorrow, I am going to plant shrubs at my house. I have no idea how to plant shrubs. I just went and bought some. Staying busy helps.
Yes, you're right staying busy *does* help. And putting one foot in front of the other. Still praying for you Friend.
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