Love.

Tonight, as I was studying, Tripper came up to me.
I asked him, "Hey Tripper, can you get your jammies on for me?"
He replied, "Hey Mom, you know what you can do for me?"
Scared, I answered with a, "Um, what?" He says, so sweetly, "You can give me a kiss."

So I picked him up and proceeded to kiss his face all over.

As I held him like a sweet little baby, I asked him the same question I seem to ask all the time:

"Tripper, how long are you going to be my bebe?"

He held up his still chubby little hand, with his thumb out and his pointer finger up, making a L shape. He said, "This long."

"How long is that, Tripp?" I asked.

"That is forever, Momma. Even when I am in college."

And that is Love.

Always so much to do.

We slept till 10:30 this morning.

Emma came downstairs and kept reminding us about church. Are we going to church? Where are we going to church at? I chose to opt out. I kept thinking more about the people, the dramatics, the code of dress... well, I think I need a break from the people.

Just not the message.

Then I wondered if God was going to judge me for a Sunday morning at home. He knows what is going on in our lives. I probably had much nicer, more Christian thoughts being here than in the building. I think of all the people in the world that are not offered "timed" church services. Are they all doomed? What is up with the specific time "in and out" of the building? What about the set, specific days? Dress? Type of Bible? Are we too specific?

So, anyways, today I am going to go grocery shopping, come home, do some housework, and get some homework done - hopefully. Two kids are in bed, sick, two are on the couch watching "Cars" and Emma and I are off for a girl date.

Catch Up.

So, with my first week of being unemployed under my belt, I am happy to say I am happy to be here. At home. On a Friday. With a sink full of sudsy water, the washer going, and still in my pajama bottoms. While I go to school every day BUT Friday, I have both Monday and Wednesday mornings at home. I still ended up going to the old job three days this week so the new secretary can figure things out... but it is safe to say after today, I won't be back there anymore.

I thought that this housework - catch up thing would be much faster. I was still feeling a little slacky on Wednesday, but then it hit me - I am trying to un-do what I have not been able to do in the past two years. So, I have cleaned out closets, did summer/winter change over for both Emma and Tripper, and worked my way through a mountain of laundry. I am happy to report that the mountain is now a big hill. :) Progress, people. I am making progress.

Today was a sad day for me -well, this morning more than anything. I went and cleaned out my pew at church. I took our toys/books/candy wrappers out. I was angry that someone that has no idea about my loving God was allowing me to not be with my Christian family. I also know that I am on a spiritual downslide. I spend my time at church being hateful, bitter, and pointing the finger at a man who is lacking human compassion and the Christian spirit. The man is nothing but a used car salesman. A bad one, at that. A judgemental, egotistical.... well, now you just got a taste of what my Sunday morning/evening worship time is like in my head. So I am ready to move on.

What is in store for me? Well, I am going to do more laundry. I am going to spend time with my children. I am going to finish school and study. I am going to go on a field trip with Tripper next week. This week, I baked cupcakes for Emma's birthday. I attended a parent conference for another kid. I took one child money for after school food.

And I was happy to do it.