Negative.

I was in the grocery store yesterday afternoon and there was an older man there with three wee people in his cart. There were two little girls in the back (I would guess ages 5 and 4) and a sweet little boy (about age 2) in the front. I overheard a conversation that made me think about people and their stupidity.

One guy asks the older guy if those are his grand kids. He says no, the two in the back are adopted and the teeny boy in the front is a foster child.

I looked at those kids all the way through the store. I cannot imagine how hard life is for them.
Right now, their basic needs are being met. They are being fed, clothed, bathed. They go to church. But I kept looking into those little eyes as we passed and I thought about all the things they must have saw already. It is innocence lost.

I kept thinking about what predicament got them to where they are. In such short lives, they have dealt with some type of abuse and/or neglect. They have been taken away from parents or been abandoned by parents.

It just makes me mad. What is wrong with people? Why can't they do what they say? When they make a commitment to have a child, or raise a child, why don't they follow through?

Anyways, I guess that is my rant for the day. I am sure it will not be the only one. I seem to be cranky, in a bad mood. I just don't understand some people and why they don't think of their children when they do stupid things or make stupid decisions.

Sheesh.

I didn't have a title for this post, so I thought I would share what is in my head.

Here are some weekly updates.

• We have less than one month until school starts. We are all excited, apprehensive and nervous. The girls have not been to school in a few years, Eli is going to high school and Tripper is starting Kindergarten. So it is going to be a little scary for everyone as we prepare and get things in order. We talk about what it will be like. Bedtimes will be the worst.
• The kids have been swimming all day everyday it seems. Well, they are all so tan. I wish they would just take a day off and hang out.
• I really dislike school. I wish I was done. I am so close.
• I am now only working three days a week where I can spend more time with the kids and make sure everything is done. I am loving the extra time at home but I really haven't been at home. My days are full.
• I am having trouble with Spanish class. I am unmotivated - well, I just don't care. It is so bad that I went in and calculated my GPA and found out that if I make a C instead of an A it will only drop my GPA from 3.46 to 3.42. So now, I am thinking I just want out of the class. I made a 50 on my first test. My teacher emailed me and said, "It is obvious that you cannot conjugate verbs or tell time in Spanish." Um. Yeah. I speak English. And my Spanish Helpers were at camp. :)
• Speaking of my Spanish Helpers - I don't really ask them for any help. When I am studying my online Spanish class, a little dude pops up on the computer screen. I have to translate. And I listen. And listen. About 100 times. If my Spanish Helpers hear the Spanish, they come by and tell me what he says. It is nuts.
• Also speaking of my Spanish Helpers- we are watching lots of MTV Spanish and Spanish Music Videos. It is hilarious! And then the commercials are funny too. We all sit around the living room watching these crazy shows like we know what they are saying. And the girls just giggle and laugh. :)

B.

Cost for 17 hours of summer classes: $4000
Pain of going to Three- Ten Hour Saturday School Sessions: Huge
Tears when you see that you get your first and only "B" for those 17 hours - Lots and Lots.

I accidentally found my grades for the May Intersession.

I got all A's with a sneaky little "B" in the middle.

What is so disappointing is that the "B" class was the hardest class - but the class I tried the hardest in. The teacher demanded much work, a huge midterm and a final. At the end, a huge 22 page Unit Plan was turned in. I was proud of it - there were many in the class that had papers passed down from previous students. This work was my own. I could not find a paper - believe me, at that point, I woulda used it. I was (and am) tired. I work full time, have five children, a house. I have groceries to buy, dinner to feed. Baths to give.

Dude gave me a "B." I did not deserve a B. I deserved an "A."

I am not the average 21 year old Senior in college. I have a thirty minute commute - I don't live on campus. When I made it to student teaching BY 7:30 every morning, I had already got the kids up and got them ready for school. I did not have the luxury of laying around until 6:30. My day started much earlier than this. When I left that practicum, I went straight to class. And I studied. Then, I drove straight to ball games, tried to feed the kids, bath times, collapsed in bed if I made it to bed. And it started all over. For three weeks straight. After just finishing the normal Spring semester.

Anyways, I always take something with me from these mini - lessons. I know that because of this, I will look closer at each child and their abilities. I will look at the big picture when assigning some stupid grade. Grades are harmful to those who struggle. Again, the power to "make or break." That is what power teachers have.