M.I.A.

Sorry I am missing in action. Good Gravy, this is hard.
I am sorry I complained about all other semesters.
I am sorry I am complaining now.
I just signed my life away for the summer.

I have, quite possibly, had two of the most heart wrenching weeks of my life - reasons I cannot disclose here, but for those who know me IRL, well you know.

I found out last night that I was old. A girl in class told me of her desire to marry her boyfriend. And she is excited to see where her life is taking her. Then she ended with.... "but, I don't want to get old. And, I don't want to have kids. Once you have kids, it is over."

Um, chick, it is just the beginning.
I wanted to tell her what a blessing and a privilege it is to reproduce with someone you love so, so much. That the greatest gift that God gives us it the ability to be a mother. That while fat, stretch marks, crows feet, mouth wrinkles, tiredness, worry and stress are all worth those sweet smiles, the "I lub you, mommy" comments, the kisses.....

She will figure it out, one day, all on her own.

Then, I quoted one of my most favorite people and told her about "seasons." There are seasons in our lives that replace seasons. While some are not as enjoyable, they are necessary to move to the next level. When you are in a season that is not really agreeable to you, suck it up, make the best of it, and go on. It doesn't last forever.

Holy gravy, I just talked myself out of a pitty party.
Thanks, me.

Tough Day.

I chose to skip practicum today. It is the first day that I have missed teaching.
Emma's homework was not done, Tripper was refusing to dress OR brush his teeth. Kindergarten papers were due, High School admission papers were due, applications for honors classes were due and needed teacher approval signatures. I work Eli up around 6:10. At 7 a.m. he rolled outta bed.

I sat there, at 6:55 a.m., my normal "leave" time, and had chaos all around me.
I chose to call in sick, to help Emma with schoolwork, help Tripper brush his teeth, deliver signed applications and papers to the proper places.

I got it done.

Sometimes, the kids have to come first.

It went downhill from there.
You ever had those days where ya just want to go to bed, get back up and start all over?
Today is one of those days.

Times of Change.

It seems that nothing is constant.

Things are always changing.

I have several magnets on my fridge. Sometimes, I will put special artwork on there. Right now, there is an Easter bunny in a field of construction paper grass. There is a renewal for my drivers license that needs to be completed. There is a super funny menopause magnet that makes me laugh. I also have some of the most important pictures in my life on my fridge. My wedding day picture with my mother, a picture of me and my babies after Tripper was born, a goofy picture of Dave... I guess that my fridge is the descriptor of my life.

Right now, I have a paper on there that reminds me that my first baby will be going to high school soon. Tonight, we have a parent-information meeting at 6 p.m.

Following that, we have a "Save The Date" for 8th grade graduation on May 24th.

On the opposite side, I had an application for my youngest baby to start Kindergarten.

When that youngest baby was born, I would sit and rock and count their ages.... Eli was nine, Emma was twenty months, and Tripper was just born.

Then, I would think about how easy it would be when:

• Eli would be 10, Emma would be 3 and Tripper would be 1.
• Eli would be 11, Emma would be 4 and Tripper would be 2.
• Eli would be 13, Emma would be 6 and Tripper would be 4.

Now, Eli is 14, Emma will be 7 and Tripper will soon be turning 5.

Not too far in the future, Eli will be 20, Emma will be 13, and Tripper will be 11.

There is nothing "easy" about it.

One day, they will be gone. It will just be me and Dave. Alone. In the house. I will miss stepping on marbles, matchbox cars, and Barbie hairbrushes. I will miss the smell of teenage boy cologne, a young man begging to have a sleepover, silly stories, and all the look-what-I-can-do's that come with kids.

These days are passing by too quickly for me.