quiet saturday.

first - tripp is fine. we went to Vanderbilt childrens hospital yesterday morning. they did the test for CF about 9 am, and my super special regular doctor called me on my cell phone around noon.

what a relief.

such a relief, in fact, that I fell asleep early last night. and i slept to 7:10 this morning.

emma played softball at ten, and tripp played soccer at ten. I ran back and forth and was fortunate enough to see tripp score a goal (or two) and emma bat twice. she told me she was glad i was there. i was super glad to get to see her play.

as for the afternoon, well, there is lots to do. i have paid bills, done housework and broken up many, many fights between mallie, emma and tripp. they are currently jumping on the trampoline. i am thankful to live in an area where they can go outside to play and i know they are OK. everyone else has other things to do, so i am here doing my weekly saturday/sunday cleaning. by monday afternoon, it will all have disappeared. :)

speaking of small towns - I was driving thru town a few days ago and I spotted a girl walking... she was wearing a white "wife beater" shirt... an on the back, she had taken a sharpie and written "mike's wife." Isn't that awesome? and then, just this morning, I realised that only here can a woman ride thru town in the back of a pick up truck, with the tailgate down, and smoke a cigarette. all by herself.

I am going to start carrying my camera. I need to document these things where people will believe me. cause I don't believe some of it myself.

middle of the week. and i am still not sleeping.

I always think about what kind of song is matching up with my life at the time.. kind of like a theme song. Right now, I am back to Matchbox 20 "Three AM." I am having huge sleeping issues, so I am so very, very tired right now. I have a hard time getting up in the morning.


Tripp goes to Vanderbilt on Friday morning. We are starting over - and redo-ing the initial cystic fibrosis test. These new test results should be in by 1 p.m. on Friday. Then, I can get back to normal.

I am also going to bargin for a stop at the Mt. Juliet Target. I am laying my chips on the table, Dave. Are you picking up what I am throwing at ya?

Here are some pick-me-up facts... stuff I don't want to forget.
1. Emma LOVES swiss cheese - the cheese with the holes in it.
2. Tripp asked me if me and his Daddy went on dates and were boyfriend and girlfriend before we were a mommy and a daddy.
3. Tripp also told me after school today that he was "going to tell me a story that would give me nightmares."
4. Tripp won't kiss me with lipstick on.. in fact, every time I ask for a kiss, he asks me,"do you have lipstick on?"
5. Eli gave me the rights to a public hug and kiss for mother's day. I cashed it in while he was with a group of his friends.

See, doesn't these facts make you feel better? They make me feel great.

late at night. I can't sleep. again.

I love this picture too. March 2006.

Everyone in the house is sleeping.. yet, here I am, wide awake, with thoughts running away.

I had a busy day today.. but it was busy in a way where nothing seemed to get done. I went to work at the same time, yet I did not get alot accomplished. I left for a short time here and there (to visit Emma's track and field day and then to grab some lunch) so I ended up working to 5:30 tonight.

Emma had a softball game tonight also. She is not a ball player. She had to pee FIVE times during the game. It is going to be a long season.

I still haven't heard results from the genetic testing place... First, the gastroenterologist that ordered the test cancelled Tripp's appointment for Friday. So that meant that I would not get the results anytime soon. So I called the genetic place to see if they would just give me a hint. I just need a hint or something to that will tell me that it is OK. But no, they rudely gave me nothing. And then, the lady told me we may have to bring him back for another stick. We might have to do another blood draw. All the way in Knoxville. To a place that won't give me information about my own child. A place that has left me hanging all weekend. Umm, how about a "hell, no?"

So I called our super regular doctor and we are going somewhere else as soon as possible.. we are going to a cystic fibrosis accredited childrens hospital to start these tests over. Somewhere that will understand that I need to know what is going on with my baby. I am in such limbo. I analyze him. I constantly watch him.. I look at him playing, talking and sleeping. I need to know if something is going on in that sweet little body that I have no control over. I wonder if he is really OK. Absolutely, I am going nuts. UGH.

My boys. Feb 2007. I like this picture alot.