late at night. I can't sleep. again.

I love this picture too. March 2006.

Everyone in the house is sleeping.. yet, here I am, wide awake, with thoughts running away.

I had a busy day today.. but it was busy in a way where nothing seemed to get done. I went to work at the same time, yet I did not get alot accomplished. I left for a short time here and there (to visit Emma's track and field day and then to grab some lunch) so I ended up working to 5:30 tonight.

Emma had a softball game tonight also. She is not a ball player. She had to pee FIVE times during the game. It is going to be a long season.

I still haven't heard results from the genetic testing place... First, the gastroenterologist that ordered the test cancelled Tripp's appointment for Friday. So that meant that I would not get the results anytime soon. So I called the genetic place to see if they would just give me a hint. I just need a hint or something to that will tell me that it is OK. But no, they rudely gave me nothing. And then, the lady told me we may have to bring him back for another stick. We might have to do another blood draw. All the way in Knoxville. To a place that won't give me information about my own child. A place that has left me hanging all weekend. Umm, how about a "hell, no?"

So I called our super regular doctor and we are going somewhere else as soon as possible.. we are going to a cystic fibrosis accredited childrens hospital to start these tests over. Somewhere that will understand that I need to know what is going on with my baby. I am in such limbo. I analyze him. I constantly watch him.. I look at him playing, talking and sleeping. I need to know if something is going on in that sweet little body that I have no control over. I wonder if he is really OK. Absolutely, I am going nuts. UGH.

My boys. Feb 2007. I like this picture alot.