I had an epiphany. Its not good.

Yesterday was picture day.

Family picture day.

I realised that I am fat.

I am fat.

Oh, I am not supposed to say that anymore. Dave told me not to say that I am F*T anymore.

As I started thinking about being F*T, I realised that I needed to own it. O.W.N my f*tness.

And I discovered, while I was deep in my special thoughts, that I haven't even weighed in a couple of years. It seems that in the past couple of years, I have let lots of things go.

I knew I had gained weight. My clothes don't fit. I had already examined, purchased and decided to own that fact. I talked about it freely.

Yet, the amount of weight I have gained, well, I had no idea. And it is there. ugh.

So, anyways, I have decided it is time to get rid of it. I have a belief about life. You can either be a victim or be a survivor. So far, for the past two years, I have been playing victim.

I have blamed the weight gain on lots of things: depression over my mother, hungry, not smoking, stress of kids, six times of having surgery in two and one-half years.... but, truth be told, it is no one's fault but mine - I love chocolate.

I am owning it right now.

I understand that I am fortunate enough not to have gained weight in the Kirstie Alley proportions - that lady was a public figure who got her Jenny Craig diet FOR FREE and then she stepped on the scales after a year long scale-hiatus, and BAMMO! she had gained close to ninety pounds.

Talk about your clothes not fitting...

I am debating whether to start a "lifestyle change" blog (not using the word "diet" here) so that you can choose whether to subject yourself to my food-exercise rants.

Anyways, these are my thoughts for the day.

Mel

By the way, I gained 25 pounds. :)