Little Bits.

Things I have recently learned :

• When teenagers are mad at you, they won't come downstairs to watch T.V. with you. That means you get to choose your own shows and keep total control of the remote. They stay in their rooms. Horray!
• They also won't ask you for money or to take them anywhere. So it is a money saving week! A win-win for all!
• When your fourteen year old son calls his teacher gay, he gets detention. If you laugh when he tells you the story, there is no punishment for detention.
• When your fourteen year old son has entered high school and still doesn't have to study and doesn't even carry a backpack, but still has straight A's, there may be some modifications needed in his education.
• When your fourteen year old son studies in detention, it is OK to get excited everytime he gets detention. Maybe he will make perfect 100's and get a scholarship in three years and you won't even have to pay for college. See, detention could be a good thing.
• In fifteen months, my fourteen year old son will be eligible for a drivers license.
• The sounds at the drive thru at DQ can be heard throughout the entire restaurant. So when you go thru the drive thru at 8 p.m. at night for blizzards, and you have a five year old that hasn't napped and is whining and pitching a fit so bad that you loose it and scream at him to be quiet, the people in the DQ will look at you ugly when you get to the window to get the blizzards.
• When you agree to do community service for a speeding ticket, and you don't have time to do it, it is OK to secretly hope to get pulled over and get arrested so that you can have a mini-vacay and a nap with a warm, clean blanket and food delivered to you.
• When you do get pulled over with five fighting kids in the van, and the cops realize that your husband is on the city counsel, they will let you go. Even if you admit you were going 25 miles over the speed limit just to get home and get the kids outta the van so you can lock yourself in the bathroom for quiet time.
• It is sad when you have a few minutes of self pity and decide to call your mother - the same mother that is not very nice and doesn't really speak to you - and the conversation goes like this:

Her: Hello.

Me: Hey. What ya doing?

Her: Um, nothing. Why?

Me: Um, I just was wondering... I was calling to say Hi.

Her: Are you sure you have the right number?

Me: I don't think I do. (and I hung up)