Healing.

Since the girls left almost two months ago, we have all went through a range of emotions. The first few weeks were the hardest for me. I seemed to be semi-ok in the mornings. Then, I was off to school, so I did not think about it, and there was little chance of someone asking me. My hardest time was in the afternoons when I came home - the was noone calling, "Ms. Mell!" and grabbing me. There was no Spanish music or cackling laughter. Now that time has passed, and shock has worn off, I have become angry. I am mad. And that is OK. I know that I am healing.

Eli was angry, hurt and confused all at the same time. But he is able to voice his feelings and deal with them. So that helps him heal.

But the worst? Emma and Tripp. They don't know how to feel. Or what to do. So their healing is different.

Emma and Tripp are still having a hard time. In the mix of the drama, it seems that not one person outside of the situation ever thought about how a five year old boy and a seven year old girl would feel to losing their sisters - sisters that had been a part of their lives for about three years - and lived with them for eleven months. Not one person ever thought that maybe Emma and Tripp would have to heal from this.

So while everyone sits and focuses on the healing of two girls that we took in as our own, that we loved and cared for and accepted, who chose to opt out of being in our family, and caused so much pain with that decision, they forget about the completely innocent kids left behind. It makes me angry that I am left to try to find the right answers. I don't have the answers.