Happy. Sad.

Wow. What a long, tiring week. There were lots of things that happened, so I want to give a daily rundown.

Last Sunday - I ran away from home. I went to study at Tech in the afternoon. There is a Mac Lab in Bartoo Hall in the basement that is open from four to nine p.m. When I got there, the student worker informed me that he was "happy" from the moment I walked in the door. He then showed me his PowerPoint presentation on "Gays In History". I asked this young, happy guy when he will graduate. He told me "twenty thirteen". He is doing a presentation for the "Happy" group on campus. So, I tried ignoring him. I got tired of his happiness. So I left.

Monday - I ran away from home. *fall break for the kids* I couldn't get anything done around here so I went to Tech like four hours early. And I studied. And I wasn't happy. This was the busiest week I have had this semester. Everything was due at once.

Tuesday - I had class. all day. I still wasn't happy. I was just tired.

When I got home, Dave called and told me that Jacob had passed away. The night was somber. I was sad. While I am the mother of two boys, and I sympathise with his mom, I was really thinking about his wife. Jacob was just thirty five. He and his wife had one young son. Jacob was diagnosed with cancer less than a year ago. I spent all night thinking about what his wife and his family must be feeling. Then, I figured out that I take my husband for granted. While I have the opportunity to touch feet with Dave every night, I do not. Lots of times, I don't even speak. Five kids is kicking my butt. School is kicking my butt. I have put "us" on the back burner. And one day, it will all be gone.

Wednesday - I got up at the crack of night to drive to Knoxville to take my Praxis Content test. I thought I would be smarter than average and I -
a. booked it during the kids spring break so I wouldn't have to deal
b. book it in East TN where there is an hours time difference and I could make it back to my 2:30 p.m. class.

Well... that kinda backfired. I stayed up late the night before, stressed, and trying to study. Then, I figured out that when it said 8 a.m. for a test, it was 7 a.m. my time . That means I left at 5'ish. Boy, was I tired. But, I still got a trip to Target. And drive time by myself to think.

And I passed! Yeah! One Praxis test left - November 13th - PLT.

Thursday - another day of school. long. long. Funeral home visitation. and a sleepover for Emma and three friends. We had a good time -we made cupcakes, drinks, pizza bites, popcorn, crafts (we decorated bracelets and did colored sand bottles). Finally, everyone got to sleep at a little after 12. Then, at 2:30, one of the little girls came down. She had thrown up - everywhere. Hair, pillow, clothes - everywhere. So, Dave and I got up. He cleaned the mess while I bathed her. We made her a pallet in the floor in the living room. She threw up in the trashcan beside her. Finally, she went to sleep about 5 a.m.

Friday - Girls went home. Went to the funeral with Dave. I have to say, it was the most emotional service I have ever been to. It lasted close to two hours. People talked and told stories. I think I cried through the whole thing.

So, I guess that the week ended with me knowing that I need to work harder on my family. I get caught up in school. I get caught up in laundry. I need to focus. Because then it could all be gone.