No Title.

I think that sometimes I just need to write for me. I am not even sure if I will publish this. I am so tired- tired of school, tired of work, tired of the never ending cycle of groceries, laundry, and baths. I am even tired of bitching. I wish I felt caught up. I wish that I was not at the end of the list. I wish I could go back to the season of staying at home. But I cannot.

Yesterday, I lay down on my bed after work and I cried. I cried because I hate my job. I cried because I can't get it together. I cried because even though I only have two semesters left, well, I have two semesters left. I cried because I need a pedicure, my hair needs to be cut, I have laundry to fold, I don't spend enough time with my kids. I cried because my heart hurts for my girls. I cried because I was crying. Who knows.

Then, this morning, I happened to read some Kate Chopin. Her works were written in the late 1800's, in the days of slavery. Kate's stories all relate to women who seem to be in the same season I am in - the season of children, home, husband and trying for balance. There was one story called "A Pair of Silk Stockings" - I had never read this story before. I read this, re-read it, and now I know: all women are confused and angry.

No, not really. This story made me think about how if we, as wives and mothers, sometimes put ourselves first, we end up being better wives and mothers. Now, I just need to find time to do it.